Yes that's right, I'm popping back up after a mere 8 months (....!) away and what can I say other than sorry. In fact, I've been so long that I no longer remembered my Google password and had to reset it! No, I'm not telling you what it is, although if the world's number one computer hacker came along, I'd probably be truly buggered. It's amazing, in a society where having a million-and-one accounts and apps to practically live on your belhalf, that people have the memory capacity to recite their passwords like their two times table. How the hell do you rememeber them all?! Seriously, how?
After all this fannying about remembering my mother's blood type and eventually changing my password, I had no idea what to really write about. Now the title is starting to come into it's own here. I'm the worst writer ever; taking an 8 month unannounced break then coming back and not only forgetting my password, but also forgetting to plan something to write! However, I thought I'd go for a brief round up and then focus in on things that were the most significant things......(where are my words?!)
So September wasn't........
Well, my long and despicably desperate dating disaster trail (I'll give you a moment to get over that alliteration there) came to an end when I met a man. A decent man in fact. And from October til now we have been courting elaborately (our word is elaborately) and I'm so happy. I'll spare you the cheese, but he has made me feel better than I've felt in quite a while and I hope we can last a very long time. Our couple name is Mulie so I will be using this name in relation to any couply stuff.
Our next Mulie thing is seeing Coldplay and while he hates Coldplay, I have recently, for his birthday, got him tickets for his favourite band so he has no choice but to shh and enjoy!
My new (now not so new) job is going well and I'm really starting to find my feet. Of course, I know the degree and my job expectations still beckon and I will find that 'proper job' but for now I'm happy where I am.
I'm learning to drive. Since late last year I've built up the courage to get back behind the wheel and the feeling I've yet to shake is something between complete unadulterated terror and a forced happiness. For me, the learning process has been quite hard. There are just some things I cannot grasp naturally. When I started all of this, I thought "well there are complete fucking idiots that have somehow made it to road legality, so this should be a piece of piss." Boy, was I wrong! By lesson 10 I come to the conclusion that my instructor must have the patience of a Saint as I fumble with the gears and sweat profusely trying to remember which way is left. With my love for Top Gear, driving games and having a ruddy good go at the dodgems at the fair, I thought driving would present to me like a pond to a duck but I'm terrified at the thought of being solely responsible over the actions of a vehicle that could kill someone if I made one wrong move. (Ok, I'm overexaggerating now but seriously, humour me a moment) Now I've recently started having two lessons a week, the nauseous feeling of being behind the wheel is slowly going away but I still have those odd moments. Maybe doing more will build my confidence.....stay tuned for that!
I think that's everything significant for now. Now for some real blog content about newsy things.
Eurovision. Now I don't usually watch this but this year I did (a day late though- the wonders of NowTV) and boy, the entries were pants! Come on, I could sing better with my throat cut that half of those "singers". Not one song or artist (I use that term loosely) really stood out for me. However, the half way point between the acts and the mammoth new voting system seemed a light relief. With JT strudding about promoting, and the hosts doing a humourous satirical lyrical onstage, it gave us time to mop up the blood from our ears before we get shovelled more Euro ass licking in the results. This year, the boards give their 12 points, but it would be the public phone vote that would give the winning verdict. The UK did what we do best by minding the bottom of the leaderboard and even when it came to the phone votes, our place hardly changed with only a scattering of points. For most of the board voting, the winner seemed clear, but the phone votes came at the 11th hour to help Ukraine to victory. While Eurovision is good for a party and pisstake, I can't help but wonder what it might be like in the years to come following the potential "Brexit."
Now my attentions turn to the Queen's birthday pony parade from Windsor Castle yesterday. Now sharpen your pitch forks as I'm about to make some Royalists very unhappy indeed. What a load of pomp. Did the Queen ask for, or even have her say, on a miniature play to represent every year if her life? While the dittying about was lovely and while we must keep up our appearances of proud Britains who sing 'God Save the Queen' on command, was it really necessary? And as for the herd of 'celebs' that took it in turns to sing, speak and wax lyrical for Her Madge, was there a penn behind the scene's for them all? The biggest speaking parts go to the ones who are the nearest to bankruptcy? It was almost as if they were one wrong trott away from getting someone like Danny Dyer to do a segment about how much she loves her dogs. I do applaud the Queen really, the amount of crap we shove in front of her in the name of pomp and ceremony. She's getting on a bit now, can't we just give her a nice night in with a cuppa, a cuddle with her corgi's and a comfy foot stoll? Now that's very British.
And now finally, I turn to EastEnders. If you haven't yet heard, Peggy Mitchell is on death's door (EDD- Expected Death Date- Friday) and Grant is making his not-so-surprise come back to East London especially for the momentous occasion. Peggy Mitchell is a household name across the nation and you'd be kidding yourself if you thought she'd go without a fight....or should I say, an obligatory and staged last chat to the neighbours, a very pale face, an hour/ 2 hour special and some solemn instrumental theme music. So sit back and enjoy as Peggy Mitchell croaks to the tears of a million BBC1 views. Ah, isn't television great.
Now that concludes my post for this time. Once again, sorry for being such a shit blogger but I'm going to keep it up this time...I'm determined! Cheerio!
This new chap of yours certainly sounds elaborate.
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