Evening folks,
So, the moment has finally
arrived! Since the end of the first season earlier this year, we were all left
hungry for more. Unlike the revamp of Top Gear which went down like a lead
balloon.
The trio have been very busy
prepping for the show, working on another very exciting group project, Drive
Tribe and well, being ill in hospital for various reasons. Clarkson fell ill
with pneumonia whilst in Mallorca which is seemingly impossible given the
temperatures out there most of the time- something that Hammond and May mocked
him for during the show. James May even in the first episode didn’t want to give
us the reason behind his hospital stint but Hammond’s hospital stint however was
known to everyone before the season even began. You may of heard it on the news
in June that Hammond was taken to hospital after a freak accident involving a
Croatian concept car. However, despite the dreadful state the car was in,
Hammond escaped the flaming wreckage with little more than a mangled leg, which
is quite remarkable given the look of the pictures that were in the press from
the scene of the crash.
So, they’d survived pneumonia, a car crash and a mystery illness
between them all and they were now back on our screens bright eyed and bushy
tailed, all ready for 10 more weeks of worldwide antics and judging by the highlights
film shown at the start of the show, these 11 weeks are not going to
disappoint.
The show started by showing the highlights film then getting
straight into where the tent was located for the episode. The first of a few
changes to the show were announced at this point as it was revealed that the
tent was staying in- as Jeremy so elegantly put it- “England-land” (the
Cotswolds). The conversation was then diverted to who’s house it was nearest to
before then introducing the theme for the show: past, present and future.
Representing the past would be Jeremy driving the Lamborghini Aventador; the
present would be represented by James in the Honda NSX and representing the
future would be Richard in the Rimac concept car- the first fully electric
supercar. Yes, you guessed it, we were going to see the build-up and the reality
of that crash. But before we saw The
Hamster defy death, we were treated to some good old road trip action from the
lads as they took their cars around Switzerland.
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| Credit: DigitalSpy |
The film started in the normal way; Clarkson, May and Hammond all
saying how their car is the best of the bunch and bickering with each other
over their radios. This is when you really start to feel settled in. Seeing the
boys back to their usual tricks again is somewhat of a warming relief to those
who have been left cold by the disappointing Top Gear re-launches and the long
old wait for the Grand Tour second series. After the trio fought it out for
dominance over their radio’s, it was time to put their cars to the test as
past, present and future started the battle for the top spot.
The past seemed to be stealing the show as Jeremy launched his
Lambo straight into the tunnel in a crescendo of raw v12 noise which as you can
imagine, sounded incredible. After marvelling over the sound of Jeremy’s v12
engine, and watching Richard overtaking in his Croatian creation, it was time
to pull over for the “car journalist-y bit” as Jeremy says. This is why I love
these 3 so much and think what they do works so well. Ok, so they don’t have
finesse by the bucket load and some of what is said- by Jeremy in particular-
is quite close to the knuckle sometimes, but that is what makes them so great
to watch. They aren’t just reviewing cars in a straight-laced and boring way.
What they do is not merely reviewing cars, but experiencing them and giving their
honest and frank opinion. They don’t stop at the facts and figures, they go the
extra mile to bring the entertainment factor to whatever they’re doing. As a result,
you have much more than a car show- you have a brand. A brand that commands
more attention than just a car show, and is much more durable than a car show
too.
Once the journalist-y bits were out of the way, it was time to get
back to the banter of the road trip. Richard was given the title of trip leader
and had booked the hotel for their Swiss trip. If you’re familiar with the trio’s
antics from the Top Gear days, you’ll already be aware that leaving Richard to
book the hotel is never really the best idea, and this trip proved no
different. The trio rolled up to their hotel to find out it wasn’t quite what they
were expecting and that Richard had in fact booked for them to stay at a Swiss
wellness retreat. With this discovery, Jeremy and James wasted no time showing
their disappointment in Richard with Jeremy even threatening to give Richard a colonic
irrigation with his own electric charging plug!
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| Credit: Motoring Research |
With that bombshell, it was time to get back to the studio where
it was time for the first ‘Conversation Street’ of the second series. Among mocking
each other’s hospital stays, Jeremy told the story of an American gentleman he’d
met who had obviously suffered a very embarrassing bottom incident. James was
also given a new name as Jeremy and Richard mocked his new hairdo. James was to
be named Dingleberry Handpump and the pair enjoyed using James’s new name as
they went on with the segment. There was of course some car themed discussion
as they spoke about Ford Mustang’s ‘good neighbour’ mode where the engine
starts up more quietly, and Nissan who have recently designed seats that record
your sweating! As if that was necessary. Of course, people buying their cars
hold out for a special sweat recording system above all other components of a
car!
The action was then resumed in Switzerland as the boys negotiated
the super-healthy and incredibly boring health retreat breakfast before setting
out for the centre of Switzerland in the search for a museum. Somehow, they
ended up driving through the busy and tight streets meaning a whole world of
trouble for Jeremy with his very wide Lambo. All this driving through tight
streets became a habit from Richard who had thought up all the activities throughout
the trip so far. It later transpired that Richard was in fact leading them to
all these museums because they were all conveniently located to charge his
electric car. Once he was found out, Hammond soon was forced to give up his
reign as the trip leader and the search for somewhere to really stretch their
cars’ legs was on.
It wouldn’t be a Hammond, May and Clarkson car show without a drag
race. Their race was set up with lots of revving coming from James and Jeremy. Richard’s
Rimac however, seemed to be very quiet and the “revving” sounded overly electronic
so wasn’t creating as much anticipation as the others. We were soon to learn
that we shouldn’t judge the car by the rev because as soon as the race begun,
Richard shot into first place immediately leaving the others in his dust. This
for once, shut Clarkson and May up as they looked on in pure amazement. No more
would they mock the Rimac- the future was ironically miles ahead of the past
and present.
Another break from the Swiss action as we went back to the studio
for the replacement of the not-so-popular ‘Celebrity Brain-Crash’.
Unsurprisingly, this segment didn’t prove that popular so the boys had to think
of something to replace it. This was to be in the form of another car racing
segment called ‘Celebrity Face-Off’. Put simply, this segment puts 2
celebrities from the same sector head to head. This week was the week of the
former talent show judge, so David Hasslehoff from America’s Got Talent was put
against Ricky Wilson from The Voice UK. Each was put through their paces on a
new track that, it turns out, is a stone’s throw away from the tent. As you
watch each of the celebs do their laps in the Jag, it all feels very obviously familiar
indeed and you’re left wondering how they got away with this theme. But then
again, they’d just be ripping off themselves so I guess it’s ok?
The Swiss action then continued after Ricky was announced the
winner with a time of 1 minute 20. This was now the last part of the film and
while there was plenty of banter to come, there was an awareness that the Rimac
crash was soon to come. But before this, we got the pleasure of seeing the boys
experience a treatment from the retreat; Hammond and May got a massage and
Clarkson had a tube up his bum. As May was asking about what the guys could do
next with their cars to which Jeremy answered, “I don’t know because I have a
tube up my arse!”
After their treatments, it was time to get back to driving and
they’d found a hill climb event about 200 miles away from their “hotel”. Jeremy
and James did this journey in their cars while Richard was driving a truck with
his car strapped to the back. To cover for his humiliation at not being able to
drive his car, he drew comparisons to horse riders not riding their horses to
the Grand National. Fair enough, but it still showed a fundamental flaw in the future
tech- you just can’t go far enough with the tech that exists at the moment. As
they arrived at the event, a proper breakfast was consumed, it was time to do
practice laps. As the start was imminent, Jeremy found he couldn’t fit in his
car with the helmet on so employed the services of an Italian driver who was
able to fit and immediately started teaching him all the appropriate Clarkson-isms
before the timed laps officially began.
James went first and then Jeremy, leaving the pressure on Hammond.
You’d think that they’d be nice to Hammond given the pressure however, May and
Clarkson instead piled on more suggesting that the whole of Croatia is watching
him willing his super-fast electric “lady shaver” to succeed. Soon Hammond was
off. I could feel the nerves building as I knew what was about to happen. The
film footage soon gave way to Youtube footage as the crash happened. You could
hear Richard shouting “crap!” as the Rimac slammed into the grass verge and the
screen then goes black. When the footage resumes, you can see and hear the
emergency services rushing to the scene where the car was lying mangled in the
grass as they fought the flames. We saw the pictures in the papers, heard
Hammond himself describing the crash in countless interviews, but seeing it all
unfold like this in the film makes you wonder how on Earth he survived.
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| Credit: The Drive |
As the film ended on the dramatic footage of the burning wreckage,
the boys didn’t hold back mocking Hammond’s cornering abilities and asking him the
last time he remembers finishing work not in an air ambulance. No
sentimentalities were given to Hammond from the other two, but I guess him
standing there in the first place more than makes up for any of the mocking he
would ever receive. Shortly after mocking Hammond, they concluded that the
future was “extremely fast and very quiet, but a bit burny.”
As for my verdict, I thought the first show was an auspicious
start to what promises to be a very action packed and entertaining season and I
can’t wait to see what shenanigans the next 10 weeks will bring. Welcome back,
boys!
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